Today I had coffee with one of my dearest friends Koya.

The kind of friend who our conversations can’t ever be surface stuff. We go right into the deep. There is no pretense of small talk. We talk about real. 

The hard stuff. The good stuff. 

Maybe it’s because we ran together for years. 

Maybe it’s because she has seen me at my absolutely undone-ness, the kind of authentic self that comes from being completely empty when your body is pushed to the limit and your mind is its most fluid.

We’ve run hundred of miles next to each other, and she knows me probably better than most people will ever know me. 

When you’re undone things happen. 

You speak the truth. 

And it’s raw. 

I swear that’s why when she and I see each other- we don’t miss a beat, we lay it all out. 

Right there. 

We don’t hold back. 

I’m not afraid she’ll withhold love from me, even if she disagrees with me. 

She knows I know her heart. 

She knows my heart. 

We love Jesus. 

We share our faith. 

And our faith and what God is doing is absolutely crazy right now. For both of us. 

As we were talking, her words hit me right deep in the center of my heart. Her truth echoed all the thoughts I’ve been thinking. The words I hear when I am praying. 

And it’s not comfortable.

It’s overwhelming. And scary. 

And it’s God. It is all God.

And it was more confirmation. 

My husband called to ask me how I was,  and I couldn’t even put into words the heaviness of what is unfolding…

So I ask you…what is real for you today? 

What is God calling you to? 

This feeling, this heavy, is far from comfortable, but this yearning and burning in my heart is the beginning of something so much bigger than me. 

I’m so mad that I have wasted so much of my time stressing because I don’t know what I’m supposed to do as a grown up. Should I work full time? Should I still work part time? Am I Mom enough? When really it’s right here! 

Write the truth. 

Live the truth. 

Be ALL in. 

Instead of watching a revolution- start one. Stop faking life, but live a Real Authentic purposed one…you in? All in? 

I’m so scared. But so excited. I’m in Jesus. 

All in.