Kristy and Adele(6) are two of my favorite people and today she sent a text with no filter…her girls send me texts with emoji’s and voice texts and I could see Kristy texting on her couch in Minnesota as she nurses my goddaughter Maisey. I could see Her older girls peeking and picking the pictures to send to me. I miss her so much! I know she stays calm and yet…she also has fears. She has a PHD but years of Life release every instinct of fear of all that can go wrong…

The what if’s don’t go away…So we savor the right now. 

“I’m afraid of my kids growing up so fast. I’m trying to savor every moment.” 

“I hold this precious little one, and  feel fear when I think of my kids futures and their unknown.”

“I’m afraid my worst self is all I ever offer to my family.” 

“I’m afraid I will not be able to keep up with the world today. It’s ok to be two steps behind. It’s ok.” 

A lot is going on. In my head, in my heart. I have felt joy today and deep sadness…and there is a  fear never really goes away. I trust, and say goodbye and “be safe” every single day…and pray he comes home. 

The media won’t cover this danger to us. But this is my family. This is my fear.

This is our real.

So I sat in my car today and I prayed, under a blue sky, with no filter. 

No Filter Wednesday. 

Our fears are real. Our lives are precious. 

Worth savoring, even with the what ifs. 

Every life matters.