Realization. 

It’s beautiful. 

It’s humbling. 

Today I had a big dose of Realization. 

I have been giving some “things”to God for a while now. 

But I’ve kind of held back a lot of my “things” because of my own fears.

Fear of giving up. 

Fear of letting others down.

Fear of inadequacy. 

In fact for a long time I began to question my own worth because of my “things.” 

Yeah I know, after all this time…I still was. 

But last week as my family stood under the rushing water of Multnomah Falls, as I was hugging my arms around me in the bitter cold, as rain drizzled, I knew it was time. 

I gave these things to God, and asked for a sign. 

I’m someone who doesn’t get signs. Not really. I get little tidbits, but typically I’m led by how I feel when I pray about something. But when I was standing under those Falls I was overcome by how big God is. So I asked. 

Today I got my answer. 

It was in a realization. 

When it hit me, I wasn’t really ready to acknowledge it…so I began to cry. 

  
I cried harder than I have in a long time. 

Not like when life was dark, but because it hurt. 

Because of how it hurt. 

What was said. But more importantly what wasn’t said. 

…..

My love came home and saw my face. Saw my puffy eyes. And hugged me. 

The day had been so hard. But my Love he always shows up. 

I will never know for sure if he called the reinforcements. 

He won’t say. 

Neither will they. 

But two hours later a flood of texts came through…all my best friends showed up. 

It had been a day of great Realization. 

The kind of Realization that hurt. 

But was beautiful. 

And humbling. 

And I realized something. 

It is not selfish to ask for help. 

And we all need love. 

The kind of love that steps up, because you need them.

The kind of love who reminds you of how far you’ve come. 

The kind of love who remind you of who you are. 

Realization. 

Today…I had that. 

And I had love.  

And God answered me. 

My faith was strengthened today…even though it hurt. 

 My God heard me. 

And answered. 

So to those of you who showed up…

I’m so thankful you’re mine. ❤️