“Mommy, can I climb the rope to the top?” 

It’s too high Curly, maybe next time.” 

The rope going up a steep 100 ft lay there reminding me of all the reasons I said No…the way I held my breath my entire pregnancy with him. The nights I would wake up scared when he was an infant in the co-sleeper to wake him up, just to check if he was breathing. 

“Please Please Mommy, I know I’m old enough. Strong enough.” 

“I know you’re strong enough but it’s so high buddy. I don’t want you to get hurt.” 

The nights I sat for hours in the ER as croup stole his breath and turned him blue. The cancer scare we had with him when he had a strange growth on his leg. 

“I am Strong enough. I just know it.” 

He learned to ride his bike almost instantly. He never stays in a bad mood. He is an absolute joy to take places, and can fall asleep anywhere. 

He laughs with his whole soul. He is so introverted but at home he is open and warm and the most loving person I’ve ever known. 

I have always considered his life a gift. A gift I am cautious with. Because he has always been such a joy, such a love. 

“Please Please…it’s all I ever wanted to do!” 

“Your Dad just got down. Your brothers didn’t go up…but you can ask him.” 

“Dad, can I please please try the rope to the top? I just know I can get there.” 

Sure buddy.” 

I give the look, and He gives me the “trust me” look back. I didn’t know if it meant he’d get spooked and stop or that he would let him go ahead…

And I watched. In the two seconds it took for us to exchange the look- Micah didn’t miss a beat. He grabbed the rope and went.

Hand over hand, as my heart thumped and I held my breathe. He climbed. 
 He looked back when he was close the top. And looked so brave. So strong. Not scared. 
Meanwhile his Dad began to climb behind him. As I watched my little heart climb because he just knew he was strong enough. Big enough. Brave enough. 

Suddenly He was at the top. And his Dad joined him. And they gave a victorious wave as Curly yelled to us, “And now I’m a Man.”  

And we laughed and hollered with him. 

And then they began the climb down. Slow and steady. I began to exhale and realized my heart wasn’t beating so hard, and I was smiling. He was okay. 

Everything is okay.  

And then they were back. And He ran to me his face filled with happiness and brave, joy and strong.

“Did you see me Mommy? Did you see how strong I am?” 

“I saw you Micah. You are so amazing!” 

“I knew Dad would come behind me, but I wanted a good start. It was easy going up, but really hard coming down.”

“Funny, I was more worried about you going up.”

And then he laughed, and hugged me tight, and my heart grew a million sizes once again. 

My sweet boy. My brave boy. My big boy. You are more than just enough of all those things… 

My Micah.