Yeah I get it.

You don’t feel comfortable. You don’t have the clothes. Your clothes don’t fit right anymore.

You’re too sensitive. You’re too hardened. You’re too extroverted. You’re too shy. You’re too…you.

Yeah I get it.

You said too much. You screwed up. You cried. You were all the parts of yourself that you try so hard to conceal. All the scars and the shades.

You aren’t perfect or pretty enough. Your head wasn’t high enough. The stress shows on your shoulders and you can’t seem to stop thinking about it all.

Yeah I get it.

You’ve got bills and worries. You’ve got doctors and no answers. You’ve got weeds mixed with grass. It’s too hot to workout, your coffee is cold, and you ate the potato chips.

You don’t really fit in like you used to.

But you don’t really want to anymore.

And that scares you.

I get it.

Because I’m right there with you.

I’ve been there. I’ve done that…once, twice, and repeat.

But that’s not our whole story. We can’t keep thinking that every time we have a good day that’s the fleeting moment. We just have to grab tighter to the good ones.

I remember the first time a Sunday was good- after almost a year of Sunday’s where I was drowning, holding my breath-under cloudy water- ears plugged- heart pounding…but then the next Sunday was good. And I decided that I’d grab Sunday’s and I would love them.

I would love the sunlight waking me up. That I would love the busy getting ready for church.  That I would even love the kids arguing, because that meant that I had a houseful. That I would cherish that I had to help one of them find socks, even if they were in their drawer right where they always are, because I was needed.  That I would love being the last one ready and out, thankful that my love always gets them in the car so I can have a minute to get ready alone. Thankful that we can sit together, and pray together, and be together…and I can hear the music- and listen to the Word, and that my kids know God…loves them. And when I clung to that…that joy, that want, suddenly Sunday was different.

But so was I.

Because I was happy in the right here. Right now.

Not looking to when life will be easier and less lifelike, but Life right now. Because the answers aren’t necessarily in the right here, but you are.

Because life shouldn’t be just about looking forward to all of the things coming up, or waiting for life to get easier. Life should be about seeing the right here- and being right there.

You won’t love every minute of it.

But when you’re not focusing on finding a spouse, fitting into a size, looking at all the other lives that have less weeds, and less junk mail…you can be busy living your life.

Not a perfect life, but a lived life.

Yeah, I get it.

This morning I woke up, and I thought about today’s post. And I thought of all the reasons you don’t want to read what I write. All the reasons I’m not good enough to even have this blog. I thought about every thing I lack. I thought about my flaws, and wondered when I will measure up…but then I remembered this Revolution of Real wasn’t my idea. This was all God. And he has my life in mind…he knows my real.

And my Real is in right Now.

And God has called me to this…

Yeah.

I get it. Because I’m too me.  And so today, I almost didn’t write.

But I looked around.

I grabbed the good stuff. The right now.

And I began to write about a life I’m living.

And here you are…

Look around. You are Here.

Right here. Right now.

Live.