“You prepare a table for me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil. My cup overflows.” Psalms  23:5 

Yesterday in Charleston SC evil entered a prayer group. Evil took the lives of 9 people, in the name of prejudice. In the name of hatred. Evil entered in the body of a Man, who stole lives with his hatred and like all cowards ran away. I have many words I have thought today as I thought of each person taken and stolen by this evil coward, but I do not want to focus on him…I want to honor them. 

I am so angry. 

I am heartsick beyond words. 

I detest that this sort of evil still exists. That this place of absolute wretched ignorance and  wretched ugliness still comes and rests. 

I prayed today and ached today, because I told God I do not forgive evil- because these acts were of the devil and I believe this person was of the devil. I saw pictures and did not see a human but saw the eyes of hell. And it terrified me. 

And then I plead to God for the families, for our nation, for all of the people watching with their hearts sunken.

And I thought of my table. 

I have a large table. 

It seats nine. 

For years we used the table of my childhood. It had been through different houses. So many babies. It survived our house fire in our first home. 

But recently some friends, who are missionaries gifted us their table. We had always loved it. Admired it. I wanted more children, but since God hasn’t gifted us that, I feel I’ve been gifted an open table…to welcome my children’s friends. To welcome people to come and join in…

To be safe. 

To feel cared for. 

To be loved.

I’ve often thought about the Lord’s table as well. As Catholics we take the table seriously. The entire culmination of the divinity of our Jesus happens at the Lord’s table. We experience it every Sunday at Mass. And we believe. 

I know that the Lord’s table in Heaven is bigger than this world can comprehend…that there is a place for everyone- because God’s love is vast and big. We sit at a table where He gives us an eternity of Joy. Our souls are welcome at his table. 

Yesterday nine more spots were filled. In heaven. 

I am flawed. I am a sinner. Because today as I thought about the Lords table I thought of those who are not welcome at mine…

If you do not like someone because they are different from you. Because of the shade of skin God gave them. Because God gave us all our external bodies, and shades, and differences and we are the body of Christ. They are welcome at His table. If you bring this sort of hatred, you have NO place at my table.

If you dislike someone because of their sexual orientation. Because of who they love. Because you don’t have any idea of the cross they carry not being able to be who they are. And judged when they find love. Last time I checked only God is God, and he decides what love is. If you bring this sort of hatred, you have NO place at my table.

If you use the word retard- and use it with a casual cruelty or as a word you just pass around. If you make fun of people who are different than you- you have NO place at my table. 

If you call my husband names because of his job, or promote hate towards his profession because of a flawed media- and some flawed individuals…you have NO place at my table. 

People are born the way God made them. And they are made in His sight. But being Evil and taking Evil on is a choice they make. They are choosing Hatred over Love. 

My God is Love. And He makes people with Love and intention. 

My God. My Jesus…my Jesus sat with people of all shades and loved. 

My Jesus, he LOVES us all. There is no division of His love…

And while hate enters into this world, and takes and steals bodies…it cannot steal souls. 

A very important conversation was started again yesterday…and it’s a real, important conversation. But let me be clear- evil enter a prayer group yesterday. And there is real evil in this world. The kind of evil that burns like the fires of hell. But evil DID NOT win. 

Evil didn’t win. 

Because they died martyrs- because they died for their faith and because of how God made them. And they are beautiful souls. 

They sit at the table with my Jesus. For eternity.  

Tonight I ask you to join me in prayer for the families of Rev. Clementa Pinckney, Rev. Sharonda Singleton, Dr. Daniel L. Simmons, Ethel Lee Lance, Cynthia Hurd,  Myra Thompson, Tywanza Sanders, and Rev. DePayne Middleton-Doctor. For the community of Charleston SC, and for our Country. 

God Almighty- bring peace and have mercy on us all. 

Tonight the Holy Spirit worked in my writing and my anger dissipated a bit- but my heart remains so very sad. But when it comes to tables- the only one I will ever want to sit at is Jesus’s…His is Love. And Evil shrinks with the Power of Great Love. 

His table is Vast…I want a seat there. 

To God be the glory.