(Joyful mysteries Notes: I feel blessed to work with someone as compassionate as April, but am even more blessed to call her friend. She is honest and kind, insightful and strikingly beautiful inside and out. She is real- and has spent the past few years redefining her self- some by choice and most because she lost her best friend and Mom this past year. Everyday I wish her Mom was still here with her…she was always so proud, but now she would be overcome with awe at the beautiful and amazing life that April is building. She is truly her mothers daughter and keeps her right there with her every single day. Thank you April for sharing your real.) 

  

It’s been almost seven months. It’s been hard. It’s been sad. I’ve been really sad. I have had my worst days since Mom has passed away. I’ve also had some amazing days. Mom would have wanted that for me. I was reminded by a friend recently to not focus on the length of time she has been gone but on the amount of time I had with her here. I was by her side for the best years of BOTH of our lives. But it’s hard. It’s hard not to think about the last things we said to each other or the times I could have spent with her and didn’t. I miss her every second of every day, but the pain will ease. The memories will continue to flow through my mind, and the love will never ever ease. 

I love you Mom, more than you’ll ever know. 

  

My Mom was far from a girly girl, and I take after her in so many ways when it comes to being fancy. She was a jeans and t-shirt sorta gal. Rarely did Mom wear a dress or a skirt, and never wore heels(tall girl complex). And she taught me I don’t have to be all “made up” for people to notice me that my light will shine through. Kindness and Happiness will draw people in. And she was right. I know that. She couldn’t go anywhere without seeing someone she knew and strangers would just want to talk to her. Her light shined out to everyone. If I can just keep a piece of that, I know I will never feel alone. I guess you could say we were the girls with the “good personality and sense of humor.” 

I love you Mom, more than you’ll ever know. 

  

Mom and I always had a freaking blast together, wherever we were and no matter what we did. We always kept each other laughing. It was one of my favorite things. Over the last few years I didn’t laugh a lot. In fact I didn’t remember what it felt like to laugh. What it sounded like. She brought me out of some really dark times, by just lifting my spirits. She could always talk me off a ledge. Now that she isn’t here I have to keep the memory of her laughter nearby to keep me “up.” I rely on that. I know exactly what she’d say if I started to lose it. I can hear her tell me what to do when I am lost.  I miss being silly with her. I miss laughing with her. I just miss her.

I love you Mom, more than you’ll ever know. 

  

I was sitting in my stylists chair and looking at myself in the Mirror. All I could see was her. I see her in my family. I see her in my son. My mom. Her eyes are looking back at me. I have her look. I’ve said it before, but now I see it all the time. Now that she’s gone- I keep seeing her. I see her in me. It’s heart warming and heart breaking all at the same time. I miss her. 

  

  
“I love you.” 

“I love you More.”

“More than what?” 

“More than you’ll ever know.” 

I love you Mom, more than you’ll ever know.