Today I had to take real in small doses. 

I had a feeling today would encompass lots of prickly places that would poke at me. And make little jab-filled comments.

I got some bad news. My head is filled with rioters and hatred. I fear the safety of friends and families. I heard some sad news. A friend was attacked on duty. And someone was mean to me, which seems pretty minor compared to the real of today. 

I was already spent, and the absolute perfect target for the jabs. I gave my God my all this weekend- and he confirmed it over and over again. And I’m still feeling that beautiful exhaustion…

I could have folded but…I felt Gods grace.

With each jab,  I said a prayer remembering that the bad may jab, but I needed to search for the good. 

To be honest there wasn’t much, but I know that God is good. I know that my God is placing his hand on my racing heart- and slowing it beat by beat…So I give him these doses of too much. 

I can’t fix this real. 

But I can pray. I can raise my hands and my voice and I can call to the One who calms waters and hearts…

And allow him to give me moments of beautiful real. Big and little doses of gratefulness fill my soul. 

My friend is home safe. 

I watched a baseball game, and felt the sun on my face. 

I hugged each of my kids. Hard. 

I worked for a friend, and was rewarded by seeing some beloved people. 

I heard from some beloved people from this weekend. 
My love is finally on his way home. Secure. 

I watched some boys play in the dirt, two of them mine, all who I love, and watched them run around without a care. In hero socks with big smiles, where good outweighs the bad doses…and it gave me hope. 

Hope in the goodness…because right now a big huge Dose of God and his miracles are needed to span this country. 

A big dose of God to take the hatred out of people’s eyes, and bring protection to us all. 

God, tonight I give you my children, and my Love. I give you his coworkers and all the peace makers across the country under attack. I give you the families living in terror and those whose city is under attack. God, I give you this big dose of prayer and know that everything is small compared to your greatness. I give you a hurting friend. I give you the prayers of those I love. And I thank you…

For little boys in hero socks and mismatched socks, and a fancy little girl, and a life that shows me Love. 

This I know.. 

“When my soul fainted within me, I remembered my Lord. 

My prayer reached you…” -Jonah 2: 8