One of those days, piggy backing on yesterday, which was piggy backing on the day before of lows…even though I didn’t wanna. I don’t do lows anymore.

Or so I thought. And hoped. 

So I did stuff. I worked out. We went to a garage sale. I went on a walk with my husband. We went to Church. We went to confession. 

But it lingered.

This feeling of lowness. I think it’s just the reality of trying to see ahead and not knowing, but having to trust. But I’ve walked this road of openness before. And it was incredibly hard. 

I don’t wanna be low today, but I was. And I just keep giving it to Him. 

“Here are my worries. Here are my sorrows. Here is my sadness. And here are my incredibly blessings…”

And I realized something today as I stood next to wooden church pews and looked at the ceiling…this whole healing, getting better, and allowing my life to be completely rebooted has also left me so incredibly vulnerable to the harsh realities of this life. 

Yes, you have found grace, but you will still have worries.

Yes, you have found your joy again, but you will still feel sorrow.

You are open, and the road is different this time…but you are still vulnerable. 

People will let you down. 

Finances will still be tight. 

Kids will still get sick. 

Your thighs will still rub together. 

And you will never ever, ever be caught up on laundry. 

So today I was low…and I called it like it was, I didn’t let it stop my day, and I kept the lowness in its place by choosing to hand it off to the One who even on my vulnerable days draws me closer. 

Pulls me tighter. 

And knows my heart…longs for Him. Even on one of those days.