January 20.

Doing this Revolution of Real has been an interesting stretch for me…I already thought I was a pretty open person but it’s made me really look at people with new eyes.

Life with new eyes. This life.

Most days can become monotonous…turn off alarm, work out, get home- pour coffee, boys up, breakfast, lunches made, lunch boxes lost, found, pray with them, kids leaving, lunches forgotten. Get Grace up, fed, dressed, dressed again, and layered, hair brushed, pray and teeth brushed, clothes changed, dropped off…(hours of work, cleaning, appts, laundry, volunteering, catching up, writing) pick up four kids, talk to teachers, drive and park, wait, pick up three more kids, drop off one, then two more, and come home to chores…homework, fighting, emailing teachers, working, lessons or practice, and getting dinner ready. Eat, go the bathroom- with at least one kid and the dog present, prayer, showers, more homework, bed time, read with Grace and bed time, read Saint book with boys, and bed time…and finally read by myself for five minutes before I put Grace back to bed three times, talk to Jonah, put Grace back in bed. Kiss Dyp. Set alarm…close eyes…(I wrote bedtime multiple times on purpose)

Beep beep beep, and Repeat.

This revolution has caused me to pause from the monotony and really look…Really See.

My life.

My kids.

And not fall into the monotony of parenthood, and housework, and marriage…which I’m not exactly perfecting.

It’s easy to compare myself to all the people I think are doing it better.

And I do.

And it’s easy to wish I could see things more clearly in the moment.

But I don’t.

Because I just lost it with two of my kids…who are fighting, and have friends over.

And I’m wondering why they can’t just be nice to each other.

And why I’m not Mother Teresa.

And my mind is filled to the brim with worries, and anxieties…will I pass my certification test this week? Will Jonah get the flu from the kid who keeps using his mouth piece without permission? Will Grace stop drinking the coffee creamer? Will I ever catchup on laundry? Will God open the doors for what he’s calling me too- or has he and have I walked by them? Will they find a cure for peanut allergies? Will Mary get it together on Downton Abbey? Will I ever make a pie without burning it? Will Miley Cyrus ever stop acting like that?

And they get more serious…

Will I lose my husband? Will I lose my kids? Will Someone hurt them? Will their wives hate me? Will one of us get really really sick?

And the worries without monotony keep coming…

Will my kids succeed?

Will they be loved?

Will they be friends as grown ups?

Will they go to Heaven?

And as I send all the kids out back and think and think, these thoughts tumble over the others as I clean my kitchen. But when I clean out Micah’s box in the kitchen and find the picture and thing he wrote in December about his Hero…

Jesus.

And suddenly I feel like maybe, just maybe things are going to be alright.

Maybe just maybe, life isn’t so monotonous, and that the good stuff is getting in there.

Close eyes. Open them…and begin again.

I need to trust this Hero to lead, and maybe he’ll just take care of it.

He’ll take care of them.

He’ll take care of me.

Everyday if I look, and watch, real life is pretty amazing.

I continue to be stretched. And I
Continue to see new things every day. Real things.

Real Heroes.