Me: “Yeah Daniel has the meanest Mom ever!” (today in the car to Daniel’s best friend Britt)

Britt: “You haven’t seen my Mom in Action!”

Yesterday one of my children started going blind because I turned on the light in the morning to wake them up. Full on running into walls blind.

“You will be so sad, when I end up blind.”

Yesterday I had to send a child back up stairs because they needed to not only put on fresh shorts but also UNDERWEAR…because it is a rule, one must wear underwear to school. It’s also the law. I’m sure of it.

“You’re going to make me LATE to school!”

Yesterday, I ruined someone’s life when I said writing clues to “Gravity Falls” is not as important as doing ones homework.

“You have No idea.”

Yesterday I was told No I could not help, No I would not understand, and No I’ll be fine.

“It’s a guy thing Mom!”

I brushed someone’s hair. And they are scarred. And didn’t want to go to school because it was early release and there was no recess. And I made them do their homework.

“You dooooon’t understand. I don’t like homework. I was so busy playingggg!”

Tragedy. And it was all my fault.


Because. I. Am. The. Meanest. Mom.

But I’m not alone.

So here’s to you…the meanest Mom–

The ones who enforce bedtime and teeth brushing. And underwear wearing.

Here’s to you…the meanest Mom–

Who make your children do chores, and finish them– and learn about responsibility.

Here’s to you…the meanest Mom–

The ones who limit tv, and video games, cell phones, Internet. Who expect your children to look up when they sit next to you in the car and look around. And talk to you.

Here’s to you…the meanest Mom–

Who make sure homework is done, and done right. Who have extra erasers on hand so they can fix their messy handwriting. Who make them finish a project, and an exam.

Here’s to you…the meanest Mom–

The ones who expect clean laundry to be put away, and not put back in the laundry bin. And who make them shower and wash hands. Again.

Here’s to you…the meanest Mom–

Who trust your instinct…and say no. Even if everyone else is going- or is reading it- or is watching it. Even if they really want to. Even if you’ll be judged because you just can’t let go.

Here’s to you…the meanest Mom–

The ones who make your child clean the toilet when they’ve used words that are NOT ok. Or lift the lid. Or flush the toilet. Or not fart at the table.

Here’s to you…the meanest Mom–

Who expect them to apologize. To their siblings. To their teachers when they were out of line. To their friends.

Here’s to you…the meanest Mom–

The ones who wait until they are in the building. Even though it’s embarrassing. Who call the other parents to make sure they will be home. Even though that is super mean.

Here’s to you…the meanest Mom–

Who make them get vaccinations. And check ups. And who are brave enough to say to the teacher- I’m worried about their progress. Or tell the doctor at 18 months, I think there is something wrong…

Who expect them to say Please. And thank you. To Coaches. To teachers. To adults. To others. And who does not accept ungratefulness.

Here’s to you…the meanest Mom–

Who is consistent. Even when they yell. Even when they spiral. You hold your ground of meanness.

Here’s to you…the meanest Mom–

Who expect kindness. And respect. And them
To forgive others- even when it’s hard.

Here’s to you,

Who lays awake at night- wondering if you are messing it up.

If they know how much you love them.

If they know how much time you’ve spent thinking, hoping, praying, loving them.

As you lay there wishing you could give a little more.

Here’s to you,

Who asked for a second opinion. Who walked out of a grocery store with a screaming child kicking and screaming, and waited until you were in the car to cry. Who made them
cry it out…at your in laws.

Here’s to you.

Who prayed and held on. And waited. Who birthed. Who adopted. Who waited your whole lifetime, to find out how strong you truly were…when your child walked into school that first day…without you.

Or had to tell them the hard things…about sadness. About death. Who held them. And cried with them.

Here’s to you.

I know sometimes you wish you were nicer, but please know…they are safe. They are loved.

You. Are. Doing. A. Good. Job.

Here’s to you…the Meanest Mom.

You are braver than you will ever know.

You inspire me. To be braver. And to be the meanest Mom I can be.