Today I ran to “Not Afraid” by Eminem. It was an angry run.  The kind of run I love to hate, where all I wanted to do was run after something that is so cruel and mean and make it disappear.  It is in those angry moments I feel all the wrath of my anger mixed in with my utter gratefulness to worship a God who heals hearts, heals souls.  Heals. Big.  Heals. Small.  Heals.

This is going to be a short post, but please know that the words, emotions, are Big. Bigger then I want them to be, but if one person can read this, can change something that could save someone else’s life I will say it.  Because it is that important.

This week is National Eating Disorder Awareness Week. We live in a world full of glossy pictures in magazines promoting beautiful “perfect” people.  Our children take pictures of themselves on instagram, putting filters to the best light.   Naked toned singers on wrecking balls has become normal, and  we get excited about a fashion show during prime time for underwear.  Women who are spray tanned, and tiny, by any regards.  We promote cleanses and diets where you can lose weight fast.  We take clean eating to an extreme, and judge people who go to McDonald’s.   We use the words “Fat”  and even joke about it,  and “What’s your excuse” as we post our work outs online, and our version of hot becomes more tainted with each filter, and each magazine we buy into. Even a show about extreme weight loss had the winner so incredibly unhealthy looking, it made my skin crawl.  But what do we promote: Push harder. Be More Beautiful… on the surface.  “Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.”  and more bullshit that we say and believe because we have bought into this lie of perfection. BUT it’s not real.  And it only feeds the beast. The beast feeds off of shame and isolation. The beast steals lives, with every push from society to embrace a body image of perfection we feed what is the number one cause of death from mental illness. People are dying for “a lie.”

We live in a society of people hiding behind their computers, ripping and bullying people a part.  We have become our own paparazzi and have set the standard so high that no one can reach it. Even I’ve bought into it, in my own way, placing my own self worth on how I look at times– because take all the filters off I am real.  Flawed and still worthy of God’s Love.

But I’m not afraid either…  I love someone who has an eating disorder.  And I am not afraid to say that unless we fight back, unless we stop promoting these types of “perfection” they will never win this battle.  Being Healthy is a mind, body, and spirit thing, and this is a fight.  This is the fight of their life.  But I will never stop believing in Recovery. I will never stop hoping for healing.  I will never back down from speaking the truth and breaking the cycle of shame and deceit that this disease promotes.  I will never stop praying.

What’s my excuse?   I’m not afraid.  I love my kids.

Love your sons.  Love your daughters. Love yourself.  Be Aware…God heals big. God heals small.