Fourth Verse, same as the…Well, not so much.  E.L.F. again stands for Eyes. Lips. Face.  So I tried E.L.F. and it wasn’t that great. In fact it was kind of a mess, literally.  And I may “H” word it, as my son Daniel says.  It was a two sided mascara, in a really thin case which I was pretty excited about. And by two sides I mean one end is Waterproof, the other end is not.  I opted to try the waterproof side first. It went on okay.  My lashes didn’t look lovely, or long, just like I put on a little bit of mascara. Pretty standard. But hold the applause because  ba-ba-ba-BUM: Big huge bummer. It was on the day after my major breakdown.  The day where I called my Mom, Joc, the day I cried some more.  And it smeared EVERYWHERE! Down my face.  It was waterproof, I checked again.  I hadn’t unsealed the other side.  Maybe it was a mistake, maybe they packaged it wrong.    And unfortunately it was on my work day, so by the time I went back in for my second and third meetings I looked like I had bags under my eyes.  Well, bigger bags than normal.  And though it smeared all over, I couldn’t wash it off.  Annnnnnd, when I took a shower that night and washed my face it got in my eyes and burned really bad.  Then when I got out of the shower it was even worse. Again all over my face.  For not looking like I was wearing much mascara, a lot came off.

There are very few things I “H” word.  In fact I don’t let my kids use that word, because I find it should only be used for special occasions… I Hate the devil, sin, pedophiles…you get my point. Really bad things. 

But there are a few things that I really dislike(probably more than a few) and I think most of them are pretty petty, and some not so much.   And you might disagree, and that’s ok.

I really don’t like…when people text while they drive. 

I really don’t like…when people write lol.  Here is my disclaimer, if it is really funny that’s okay. But a lot of times it’s just like a thrown in phrase–“My husband/boyfriend is picking up dinner tonight lol.”  What?  Do you really laugh out loud about that?  Seriously?  Yes if you laughed out loud, then write it.  But I think most people just use it, to use it. And forever I thought it meant lots of love.  So really that shows how uncool I am.  And this is the only time you will see me using it.  Also I don’t mind if my little sisters, niece Mikaela, or my Mom use it.  Because they are teenagers and I love that my Mom texts.  And lmao- to me is Lame-o.  Because it takes a lot for me to laugh that hard.

I really don’t like it when…people aren’t consistent with their kids. Or don’t watch their kids. Or when they parent so loud in a public place, like they want you to hear them. 

I really don’t like it when…people don’t keep their dogs on leashes.

I really don’t like it when…I see a picture of me, and start to feel bad about myself. I wish I was better than that. 

I really don’t like it when…I see husbands and wives talking bad about each other.  And not like the mild complaining, “oh I came home and it looks like a toy threw up all over…” No, really putting each other down.   

I really don’t like…bitter people.  Or Evil Step Mothers(because I’ve had one). Or gossip.  Or passive aggressiveness.  Or cheaters. Or judgmental people.

I really don’t like…being left out. It’s an issue I’ve had since I was a kid. It really bothers me.

I really don’t like…letting people down.

I really don’t like…when people don’t use an OB-Gyn when they’re pregnant, or at least have a Midwife who is over seen by an OB-Gyn. Okay, and this might tick people off…but my most traumatic birth was not with a OB.  AND…I’ve lost a child.  A lot of things can go wrong, and really fast, and I don’t want anyone else to go through that.  I’m still not over it.

I really don’t like… the unsolicited opinion of hippies about how many kids I have. I have four.  That REALLY is not that many.

I really don’t like… when naturally fit people  act like they know what it’s like to be overweight.  It is a much harder burden than one can ever imagine.  Especially when you’ve never had to pick out anything over a medium.

I really don’t like…how low my boobs hang.

I really don’t like…bullies.

I really don’t like…people that don’t think Catholics are  Christian.  I LOVE JESUS! HE is MY GOD!

I really don’t like…people that don’t support police.

I really don’t like…Strep Throat.  Or H1N1.  Or any of the nasty bugs my family got this year.

I really don’t like…that I probably passed on the kidney issues both my daughters have had.  It breaks my heart.

And I really don’t like…E.L.F. Mascara.

I know I may be petty, but I could write a million blogs of all the things I love like the smell of my kids after they take baths, and the sound of their laughter. I love that even though I’m always cold, even the tip of my nose, that Chris touches it, and says he’ll always be able to find me in the dark.  I love my yard, and our little house.  I love my faith.  I love my family, and all our quirks. I love the seat warmers in my suburban.  I love running. I love blue skies.  And I love feeling pretty.

But not when mascara is running down my face, burning my eyes.

Final Score:  2. I’m giving it a 2, which I think is generous but I am choosing not to use the other side.  And it is mascara.  lol.  JUST kidding…It was not waterproof unfortunately. And I will not be recommending it anytime, ever.

Next Mascara, Maybelline New York: the COLOSSAL VOLUM’EXPRESS.  Stay tuned…I pray you love much more than you “H” word.