“You have thin skin.” 

I was offended when he said it and it must’ve showed in my face because he followed up…”that is not a bad thing.”

My counselor told me this during a session when I lamented how I hate hate that I cry when I’m angry, or nervous. That I hate that I think about conversations for months, and always feel obligated to apologize…even when I know I didn’t do anything wrong. And I feel things too much,  I cry toohard at movies, I ache too much when people hurt.

“You have thin skin…and that is not a bad thing.” 

When I was born because I was so early you could see through my skin. The doctor commented on it multiple times. My Mom kept telling him I was beautiful just as I was.

So I guess I’ve been translucent literally and figuratively…physically and emotionally. 

The last couple days I was floating on air, things were going well for the most part, God has been answering prayers, and things…feel…right. 

But suddenly real stuff began to weigh heavy on my heart. And I felt it. And I felt sad for people I love who are hurting, and there’s nothing I can do to help them except be there. And I feel for those who are lonely. And just life…its messy and hard. 

I feel it all. 

And I hate that. 

“You have thin skin…and that is not a bad thing.” 

That day I sat in the corner chair, with the pillow and the tassels, and was offended…he proceeded to tell me that yes I feel things, but I’m also deeply compassionate and aware of those around me. That I have not an iota of entitlement but an immense obligation to take care of others. And that I persevere  and show passion, through feeling things and being there. That being thin skinned is NOT a sign of weakness.

After the session I went and sat in my car and wrote these things down…because for the first time in my life…I wanted to not be ashamed of this part of me. So what if I’m sensitive, and feel shit? I’m also funny and real, and super tired most of the time. I don’t know another good person who isn’t that way these days. 

So…go be yourself. 

Feel stuff. 

Don’t be ashamed of crying once in a while, and being liked when you’re doing the right thing. The good thing. 

Literally and Figuratively, Emotionally and Physically…

Be who You are.

This is not a bad thing.