Yesterday my first born turned 14, seems like all his growing happened overnight and I was too emotional to write. I think because all the realities of them growing up are becoming more and more apparent. I’m happy with the person he’s becoming, and I’m sad because that person will make his own path, and live his own life…and it might veer away from this life. 

And us. 

This child who redefined my life. His birth was grueling and terrifying, and complicated. But then there he was, and all my complications, all the things that could have went wrong, but didn’t, seemed so far away, when all I saw was his perfectly round face. I couldn’t remember a time in those moments, where I wasn’t a Mom, where He wasn’t a part of us. 

Every first he has had, have been my firsts as a mother. So, I guess there aren’t enough words for all these feelings. So that’s where I’m going to leave that here tonight…where I am, this is my real. Right now. 

His life has been a gift. A gift I was given the privilege to carry, and protect. To raise, and nurture. And I am blessed to be his Mother.