Today was a stand on the cracks day. 

A day where I feel like I’m frozen in the center of an icy pond waiting…will the cracks spread and branch out like fingers- reaching, opening up and swallow me. 

Swallowing me into the too busy-too much-too hard cold water. Or will it stay firm? Will I stay steady even though my feet slip, even though I’m afraid. 

Today was a day where I’m on the edge. Am I really here? Do I even belong here? 

Now I’ll have two in middle school?! 

And I don’t even know whose classes my little kids will be in? Am I the only person who stresses about this stuff? 

Another call out? On this week? 


How in hell did I get a teenager?! 

I feel emptied from so many conflicting emotions. I feel exhausted from parenting. I feel drained from the balance between wanting to belong and wondering where my place is. I had to set boundaries and couldn’t make everyone happy. 

But here I stand- on a stand on cracks sort of day. 

Today was hard. 

Tomorrow will be better. 

And God is good.