There are no Joneses to keep up with anymore. 

There once was long ago, in a galaxy that I never fit in to. 

In a place where the posh Mums always looked together, and drove clean SUV’s, and their kids only ate organic snacks.

My people cry in their cars after drop off, and then reapply their make up. I used to think that was just me…but it’s not. 

There are no Joneses to keep up with anymore. 

I don’t have granite countertops, but I have friends that do. And yet our conversations over my worn Formica ones are just the same. 

Real. 

Funny how I used to worry that I wasn’t good enough. In so many places and spaces. 

My family doesn’t go on tropical fancy vacations, and I don’t have a passport. 

Yet…

I wish I could stand in churches and try to hear the whispers of the Saints, and walk on the ground my Lord walked. I wish I could stand on warm sand, staring out at crystal blue seas. 

But instead…

My children are bilingual and talented. And the world has still shown me beautiful things, and the most beautiful holy sanctuaries I’ve been in have been the ones I’ve seen my children and godchildren baptized in. My Lord lives in their hearts and I see Him there, every day. 

There are no Joneses to keep up with anymore. 

Maybe there never were. Or maybe I just stopped comparing and starting focusing on what’s more important. 

Maybe there will always be a budget. For now there are always hand me downs. My kids are the most giving people I’ve ever met- they don’t expect a lot and are gracious grateful humans. They appreciate each other’s talents and celebrate each other’s gifts. Truly, what more could I ask for? 

The challenges of life never go away. Somedays they seem insurmountable as I stare at laundry and bills, and yet I know what surrounds me…

Love. 

Once I replaced my thoughts of keeping up, with just the Love in my house, I realized I am a very rich woman. So much love, piles upon piles of it. Love fills every corner and crack of my home. 

Love in laughter.  Love in each other. Love in the busy monotony of messy chaotic big family life. There is love. 

And even when I think it will run out, it finds me…at the dinner table, before bed, in the morning over my cup of coffee. There is no keeping up when you are surrounded with the most consistent beautiful gift God gives. 

And my kids always seem to know when I need more…

 I write this today, Thursday, when I woke up under the weather. On a day where my head hurt too much to workout. A day after I heard some news that left me completely discouraged with leadership, priorities, and the regard for the human. I felt for friends grieving today, and wept for a friend whose life was turned inside out in the most unjust way.

I thought this minutes ago, as I stood weepy, head achy, ironing clothes for my husband who is still at work. This life with his job, with his work ethic, can be very very lonely. 

But it’s my real. And there is still so much to love. Love always finds me, but often I have to be willing to see it.  I have to be present. I have to look up from the all-too-known- an even with the realization that we all get sad, sick, and lonely, there is still so much love to be seen. 

At dinner two nights ago, I started to cry, telling my kids about how proud I am of them and this happened…they must’ve known I needed a little more. 

There are no Joneses. 

It’s. This. Just this. 

I am a very rich woman.

There is so much love. It’ll find you. I promise.