Last night my good friend Lindsay sent me the link to a blog*. But I was tired. And feeling insignificant. And a little sad. So I didn’t open it…then today my best friend Amy sent me the same one. 
Okay God. I get it. 

So I read it. And it hit me right in the center of my heart. 

Well played Holy Spirit. Well played. 

I instantly began to cry, as I realized why God gives us good friends. And how important it is to place prayer and protection around my heart…

As a parent. Because I don’t always want to hear who did what, and why you’ve been wronged, and why you forgot to brush-your-teeth/flush-the-toilet/put-away-the-laundry/pick-up-the-room-you-turned-into-a-fort. Some days I don’t want to be patient. And somedays I feel really angry because of how much I hate complaining. I just want you to do things with a grateful heart- I want you to seem happy to run errands with me- because Lord knows I don’t want to run and do a lot of busy things…but we can both fake it just for one day. 

As a wife. Because I worry that you are going to be overwhelmed with the fact that the house looks so lived in, that I can’t seem to throw enough away, that I feel like I am never adding up to all the craftier-pinterest-life coordinated wives who have figured it all out. I won’t win any cooking, budgeting awards. I’m afraid you’ll outgrow me- as we watch other relationships unravel, because I know I’m the same but changed, just older…because the bags under my eyes are always there. 

As a woman. Because this last year I have struggled a lot with my body and with my health. I hate the fitness blogs and I’m so sick of seeing so many body selfies on social media. Because it only makes me feel bad. My perspective as someone who really really tries isn’t inspired. Instead I compare. I refuse to buy a pill, or restrict and cut out food, or get a surgery to change what God gave me. I’m not looking for a “like” on my body, I want love in my soul. But everyday this pressure comes and it is suffocating. 

And all of these aren’t from God. 

They are lies. Big fat liar liar pants on fire lies that steal and give us a temporary gratification of misery…that can turn into an all consuming misery. 

Comparisons. Negativity. Shaming. Andan ungratefulness that comes and rests upon our shoulders, seeps into our bones, and makes us cling to the lies that Satan whispers in our ears…

You are inadequete. 

You are failing. 

You are ugly. 

And I’ve believed them many times. 

I’ve bought into the lies.

I inhaled the lies, and exhaled the deep dark poison…it affected my life greatly. And still does. 

Because satan is a liar, and he IS behind the ugly and the dark thoughts. He capitalizes on our insecurities and we buy the bottle of “if only I was.” And we are never ever satisfied, or good enough, or better. 

But the only thing that is louder than the lies whispered is the Truth. The Truth that stands the test of time. The Truth in a God who believes in US, who sees and Loves us, and who created us for eternity. 

I keep asking my God…”why I keep coming back to this same place- this inadequacy-this shame, when I know HIM and what he is capable of?”And today He replied…”because you keep listening to the lies.” 

He spoke to me through the words of an article. 

And through those that I LOVE…

Through my Eight year old who told me that the veins on my legs look like lightening bolts…”Mom, you have the coolest legs!” 

Through my daughter, who smells my hair, who hugs me, and tells me every single morning first thing, “Oh my Beautiful Mommy…I love you so.” 

Through my husband who asked me on a date, after 19 years of kids and a mortgage, still wants to date me. 

And through friends…who text me at 11:11 every night to say they love me, who send articles, and pray. Who love on the good and overwhelming days. 

So Mr. Satan you can keep your glossy magazines, and your lies. You can take your body shaming and your life stealing. I have lightening bolts for veins, and You have no place in my blessed and graced life. 

Okay Jesus: the way, the truth, and the life…

I’m here. 

I’m listening.  

I’m yours. 


*Here’s the link to that awesome article: