“On a personal level, which is where it all starts, Peter is a grand and honest statement about how we all come to God. The pattern is a great surprise, and for many a great shock and even a disappointment. We clearly come to God not by doing it right but ironically by doing it wrong.” – Richard Rohr 

Today a very good friend came to visit. Their family is getting ready to make a life-transforming change(I’ll tell you about it sometime).

We’ve been friends for twenty some years, and she and my husband have been friends their entire lives. 

She is godmother to one of my boys, I’m godmother to her daughter- and when we are together it is total chaos. Kids running in and out. Someone always cries. And usually it’s not one of us. 

But sometimes it is. 

She told me today she can’t keep up with my blog. I told her I can barely keep up with it. Being called to write everyday has been a huge task. Mentally and Spiritually. 

I pray everyday as I start to write. Somedays it seems so clear…others are really hard. Because it’s not all flowers and pretty. Parts of life are ugly and ragged. Words don’t always flow freely, sometimes they drain me emotionally and I’m exhausted.

Because it’s real. Because I can’t fake them.

I pray everyday that one person will read, and find a bit of hope in their life. That the smallest word will inspire them to transform even one little piece of their day. And sometimes I pray I’m just not annoying. Because i worry that my words will sound like my voice sounds to me on a voicemail, too high- too squeaky. 

Today I saw a friend at the store during my last minute “Of course I’m prepared for Easter” shopping trip. We small talked about life, jobs, God, and when we hugged goodbye she said in my ear “I hope you know what you are doing is so important. So needed.” She could have been talking about anything. From my volunteering. To my job. But the way she said it brought me hope. 

Just those little words…said so Much. 

Because if there is anything ANYTHING I want to give through this revolution of real is to take the angles off, and the pretense of what we should be doing…and allow us to see what we are actually called to. 

No filters. No sugar coating. But allowing ourselves the beauty of our real. 

You see, even in my imperfections- the days my writings and real have typos and too much of me and too little of Him- I am being transformed. 

Instead of getting mad at myself for eating too much bread with my son, who bought a loaf of French bread to share with us, and saying something shaming to myself like “No more excuses Kristin” I think, okay I enjoyed a meal with my son and I am working hard on not being a victim to my size. I exercise because I want to be strong. Not because I want others to notice. 

Instead of focusing on the list of all the things that I’m not doing right- the way dust settles, the weeds that grow in my yard, I think of the ways I am doing things right- I am taking care of my kids- I am filling my house with love. 

Instead of being jealous of friendships that have dwindled and ways I am not a better friend, I think of the friends I have that God has given me that inspire and love me so unconditionally. I trust them, really trust them. They don’t judge me, and they loved me through the darkness. 

Instead of feeling lonely I remember…I have a family. Who loves me. Even when we are a part. We are always in this together.  Always. I married into a family who are some of the most loving gracious people. 

Instead of looking at the things I don’t have I look to the blessings I do. I love a Man who loves Me, through good and bad. Who sees me in every season and still tells me He loves me. Who prays with me when I wake up scared. 

I am being transformed because this morning I looked in the mirror- and saw my stretch marks and my body and saw just that. A body. A body that has carried and held, and is strong. But it’s just a body, it’s imperfect, but it’s not ugly. 

And I realized, My soul is what is being transformed. 

My soul is what I am working on.

Writing my real is bearing the good and bad, the beauty and ugly of a very imperfect life. But my soul is sold on the amazing grace of God. 

All of us can find a lesson when we stop trying so hard to sell ourselves and seek superficial approval…but let the real speak for itself. 

The real speaks…

Into our hearts.

Into our lives.

And God transforms our souls. 

Be transformed.