They were fighting. 

They couldn’t find a resolution. 

They kept coming to me…yelling, crying, over a car they are building…though one says they are building a fan. 

And then they started arguing again. 

Car! Fan! Car! Fan! 

I can hear them from inside the house. I had been helping them all morning, running errands for their school projects. And listening to copious amounts of fighting. 

Not doing anything I’d planned…like working out and showering. Or even brushing my hair.

 Instead I cleaned up after others, ran errands for others, and made a small dent in my list of things to get done. 

Sooooo full disclosure?

I hid. I hid in my bedroom. 

One of them came to tell on another and knocked on the door, and asked why my door was locked and I told them I was on my “mandatory lunch.” 

“But you already had lunch!” He said…because recently he likes to be the leading authority on everything. 

And I just said “I can’t hear you, I’m on my lunch break!” 

And I laid on my bed. Even though the sheets were still in the dryer. And I felt the sunlight on my face. And I listened…to silence. 

I knew that when I came downstairs there would still be laundry and dishes. I knew that they may still be fighting over their “invention.” But it was worth it. 

Because sometimes I don’t want to be a negotiator or a referee. I just want a break. I don’t want to be a housekeeper or a supervisor. I just want to clock in my day, and clock out. But I can’t do that. I’m a Mom. I have to show up. 

I have the furrowed brow and the big bags, and I bring it every single damn day. 

But that doesn’t mean I can’t hide. Or need a break. So I took one. 

20 minutes. Silence. Peace. 

Because I love my kids. I love my life. But everyone needs a breather. 

And I still haven’t brushed my hair…but there’s always tomorrow.