I thought about deleting my account completely on FB, but because that’s how I sell Mascara and I do like being able to post photos so my Mother in Law can print them for Granni Great I will keep it for now. But overall I’m going to give it the silent treatment. Not completely though.  I’ll still rave about mascara on my parties, and I’ll still post pictures on instagram and link it to my FB for my family who doesn’t see me every day.  But I think FB and I need to take a break and here’s why…

I don’t feel good after I’m on it.  I just don’t.  I was talking to a friend yesterday and she said the same thing and I realized that was the feeling I’d been having. And then I read an article that talked about why people post things on it. I mean I’m actually writing a blog about this…What? But here I am, feeling like I’m back in Middle School and I am on the outside looking in at all the cool kids.   I don’t know who my real friends are.  I don’t know who is authentic, and it makes me sad because I think if I was myself, always truly myself I wouldn’t be invited to anything, except for some lame game that people play on there about cows who eat candy.

Facebook isn’t really real – you can filter and let your “friends” into all the angles of your life you want to show.  Because my life is a living breathing work in progress, I have formica counters and faded cupboards, laundry everywhere, and never enough toilet paper. I stress out that I can’t give my kids more, and that I spoil Grace. I am horrible at planning meals, and I let my kids eat McDonalds…so far none of our heads have spun. And I don’t know everything, and I still wish I was a better wife.

I don’t like seeing anti police stuff.  I don’t like that even though I can hide something, I still can see articles of police being killed daily, ambushed, and still being attacked by my “friends.”  I refuse to see you share an article that makes Police out to be demons.  This is my family. My life.  I actually read a bi-line by multiple friends that said “Not All police are bad.” There is something horrific about that statement. And I don’t want to read it. Just like I don’t want to see videos of people hurting kids. You can share all you want but for the sake of my family, I choose to avoid it.

For the same reason I don’t like Twitter.  I don’t really like Pinterest (ok I actually totally do, I just don’t get it). And right now I don’t like facebook.  I’m not interesting enough.  I’m not artsy enough. According to FB I’m not enough.  But in real life, my life, I am enough.

I’m sick of dumb opinions that affect others like not vaccinating kids or commenting on other friends’ posts just to be mean. Because it’s not annoying like selfies or backing cars into parking spots, it’s just stupid. I don’t want to discuss Politics. I don’t get joy out of arguments, in fact I hate confrontation.  I don’t want to read the cruel comments people make on news threads, because that is one of the dark parts of social media: blatant bullying.  I don’t want to read about the Kardashians, I want to read about real life heroes like Marcus Littrell and Louis Zamperini.

I work super hard to love myself. And not compare.  And if I’m looking at all the things I will never be…I do.  That’s not good for me.

My kids are super funny, but I’ll only share the parts I feel comfortable sharing on my blog.  People that see us every day and know and love us, get the full meal deal.  I will text pictures and personal notes to my family.  As things change and as my kids grow, I feel the need to shelter them more.  And I want to set a good example for them.  Here’s the truth, I check my FB WAY too much.  And I don’t want them to see that as a norm. I hate hate hate video games for hours, and think it’s weird when adults play them (unless it’s Just Dance or Mario Kart).  So why would I spend all my time doing essentially the same thing?  This summer I really started going back to the basics of life and this was the component I knew would have to change.  And it’s going too. Right Now.

I will continue to write, because it’s my passion and what I am called to. And in giving the silent treatment to FB I will have the time I need to focus on what I’m meant to do.  If there’s anything I’ve learned this past year is that in order to take back my life, I have to do what I’m meant to do…which requires self care.  Writing is self care. Working out is self care.  Loving my children is self care.  Sleep is self care.  Date night is self care.  Diet Dr. Pepper is Self care.  Being with my friends is self care.

And praying is life care.

And for now that’s enough for me…