Footsie

I was a little sad when I realized it.  Grace didn’t get my feet.  She has a large big toe, and long toes. I don’t have a large big toe, and my other toes aren’t long. In fact one of my big toes is a lot smaller than the other one because I broke it years ago.  And I don’t have beautiful feet. But they’re not ugly either.   My feet are small.  I wear anything from a four to a six.  Sometimes if the shoe is really narrow I wear a six and a half.  I had hoped she would get my little feet, but I’m fairly certain she’s got her Dads.  Darn.   And I don’t know why I thought she’d get mine.  But I’d kind of hoped she would.

We’ll never be able to share shoes…which is kind of a bummer.  I can only share shoes with my Mom and My sisters.  Everyone elses feet have always been too big.  Jonah and I wear the same size now, but time is running out for that…

Feet. Shoes…Mascara.

My mascara trial this time was Maybelline again.  Still working on the three pack, but I’m going to take a break after this one.  It is called Stiletto Lash: Provocative Length(See the connection?).  Very Black…Sleek Long Black Tube.  That looks exactly like stiletto with a deep red tip.   At first swipe there were no clumps. And it really stuck to the lashes and looked  like a stiletto heel, fatter at the base very thin on the tips. They almost seemed to curl even more at the end.  Provocative?  I don’t know about that.  Long? Yes.  Lovely? Absolutely.

My first pair of shoes I remember were slip ons with squeakers in them.  They were comfy and I loved the sound they made.  They had some sort of bird on them. I still have one of them in storage somewhere. If I had the matching set, you bet your bottom dollar Grace would be wearing them.

Chris’s first pair of shoes, were little red, white, and blue canvas shoes.  The first year that we were married his Granni gave them to us for Christmas.  They had hung for twenty some years in her house.  We still have them.

My boys favorite shoes are Adidas’.  They all have wide feet and those seem to be the ones that they prefer to wear.  They also happen to be the favorite shoes of their cousin who passes them down. Though Micah would rather not wear any shoes…or clothes for that matter.

I have all Grace’s shoes.  From her first shoes which were little Ballet Slippers, to each subsequent “ballet” type shoe.   Right now she wears little Nike runners, or slip ons.  She likes to kick off her shoes and try to put on other ones.  She is the same way with purses and dresses. Already.  She wants to look like a girl.  Jonah went to school last week wearing two different shoes.   I noticed and  asked him, right as he walked out the door if that was okay with him. His answer: “They’re just shoes Mom.”  It reads much more sassy than it was said, but he is SO not a girl.

Some people remember the song that was on the radio when something happened. My Dad always remembers who was President.  I usually remember both.  And I  always remember the shoes I was wearing.

I was wearing my Red Vans the first time I kissed Chris. I was 18. We’d been dating off and on for six months and we were in his Moms Car in Grants Pass Oregon.  I loved those shoes.  I was head over heels in love with him. I had worn them six months before when I flew to visit him in Denver Colorado. I wore them eight months later when we drove up the Oregon Coast together for the first time.

I wore low top white converses the day we got married.  And so did all my bridesmaids.  My little sisters wore white saltwater sandals. Those had peaked in popularity when I was in Middle School and we couldn’t afford them. It was really important to me when they wore them.  It was as if I’d finally been able to wear them.

When I was pregnant with Jonah on Mothers Day, Chris bought me a pair of Doc Marten Sandals. They were heavy leather and I loved them. I wore them consistently for the next few pregnancies. I just loosened the straps when my ankles would swell. 

I’ve bought shoes at second-hand stores that I love, and always buy the $3.oo flip flops from Old Navy. I alternate between New Balance and Brooks Running shoes(both gifted to me by my sister Melissa).   I’ve never worn a pair of high heels that were really comfy.  I’ve also never spent a lot of money on a pair of shoes.  Sometimes I wish I was the sort of person that could walk into a boutique and buy an expensive pair of shoes I’ll wear once or twice. But I’m not. I always think about what I could be buying.  Diapers, Groceries, things that my family needs. I have a hard enough time allowing myself to get my hair done.  I know I’m much better at putting my family, my friends first, and maybe someday I’ll have expendable income or even the tenacity to go crazy on a pair of shoes. 

But today I prefer looking at my bare feet.  I have a tattoo honoring all my kids rising up my foot. I got the first part of it when Micah was about a year old. I was so tired of hearing people ask if I’d ever wished he was a daughter, if we were holding out to have a girl someday.  My body reveals that I’ve had children, with my loose Mommy pouch and the deep pink stretch marks across my torso, and bigger bags under my eyes…but there was nothing that showed I’d had a daughter. So for Christmas Chris bought me a tattoo…I had four butterflies across the tops of my foot and then a month ago Grace’s tattoo was added.  3 blue. 2 pink. All butterflies. In order of age…Jonah, Daniel, Mary, Micah, and Grace.  I love looking at my feet now…even when my nail polish is chipped or my feet are callused in desperate need of a pedicure.  They are a reminder of my greatest gifts from God.

I have the small stamped prints the hospital gave us of all the kids feet. The curves, and circles, on their heel and tiny toes.  I also have a print of Mary’s foot in a small grainy ultrasound picture. I wrapped my fingers around each of their feet when they were born.  Held them.  Someday they will all have bigger feet than me and I’ll slip their shoes on, my small feet swimming as I walk outside to get the mail, grab something from the car.  Someday they’ll outgrow me. But today I can pick out their shoes with them, watch them take them off, and swim in my shoes. 

I stand on my own two feet, five butterflies who each have a name.  Permanently etched on me, they walk with me. Run with me. Dance with me.  No shoes have ever been more beautiful.

So the only stiletto I can acquire now is in a mascara…and I gotta say I “L” worded  it.          

 Final Score: 8.5 my highest yet. This is a great mascara. It was everything I’d hoped it would be especially with my goal of Long Lovely Lashes.    Next Stop: Blinc.   Sent to me by my friend Rose who reads my blog.  I have a reader who sent me something!  I guarantee it’ll be worth a read. Also shameless plug, if you like my blog…pass it on. Getting published is hard business.  But writing about mascara…not hard at all.